Remembrance of Some Lost Bliss

The sun dove behind the clouds and only shot individual rays down onto the water. As the water swayed nonsensically in its random way the jets of lights would bounce off to the reflection in our eyes. I squinted even with wearing sunglasses and looked down at her.

She was to my right and looking at the water as well as it was washing up onto the beach and between her toes mixing in with the sand.

Don’t you wish you could just stretch certain moments out?

Haha, what are you saying Colter?

I mean that I wish certain great moments in life would just take the place of other times and we could just make the better moments last longer

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Stretch moments out into distortion till the edges blur, and there isn’t any night or day or time and reality is realized till you can’t see anything anymore and its just chaotic bliss

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Isn’t it already like that, in a way?

I don’t think so?

I mean you hold important events in your memory for longer than shitty moments making the better moments actually last longer

Fuck, okay, yeah, good point. But that’s only in memory, I want to stretch my arms out and pinch my fingers together so everything will just shut the hell up and it would just be you and I watching the sound and the light and clouds and fuck everyone else

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I looked down at the water as I saw her looking off into the distance. I watched the water flow in between my toes, I could feel the smooth rocks beneath my feet, I looked over at her and her dark hair blew with the breeze off of the sound. I took in a deep breath to smell and taste the salt. It was beautiful, it all is beautiful.

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But I mean I was listening to the radio the other day and they were talking about this family that died all together in a car crash, 4 people died, the mom and dad and the children all just fucking died, and these school shootings, or cancer or whatever the fuck it’s all shit yet here we are

Yeah, its weird, I don’t know, I try not to think about those things. It doesn’t do any good.

I agree, but I guess it makes you appreciate things a bit more. Like this moment right here, looking out over the water, I appreciate this. The little things yah know? I want take it slow, soak up every moment because you really don’t know what will happen. We’re just lucky.

Yeah, I guess we are

Now I don’t want to sound pretentious or arrogant but I think I find most things underwhelming, maybe I don’t live a crazy enough life style but I can recognize the moments that really matter, at least I think so

Is this one of those moments?

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She stepped sideways and put her arm around my lower back and looked up at me. I could see myself in the reflection of her sunglasses, me looking down, her looking up mirroring each other. I could now smell her perfume mixed with the salty air. It was just us there on the beach, nobody else. I wanted long mornings and late nights. Taking every sip and bit and trickling moment of life. Life and its moments and the moments that matter, stretched to fit my liking.

--

It is. I don’t know if I’ve seen perfect. I don’t even know if perfection is a thing, a real thing but it seems like this is pretty close, it happens more than we realize but we’re just moving too quick to notice.

It doesn’t take much does it?

No it really doesn’t

--

The ocean foam started to congeal around our ankles and my feet became numb. It was summer but not a true summer, not the deep summer where your legs, and shoulders and feet are bare to the sun and darkened by its rays, not yet. It was overcast with those jets of light bouncing off of the sound. It’s funny, or ironic or perhaps just odd that the dullest of days can be the brightest because you don’t expect as much, but things just happen. Things just happen without any sort of idea or plan of action but they just happen and we are witness to this.

What is time, what is real, what is essence, what is true, what is purpose, what is conviction, and what is all of this we call home?

Us children of the sun, witness to beauty and dumbed brains to the drumming of the man made concrete jungles and sweet sunsets that ooh and ahh us.

I want to harness it all, feel every rhythm, but its god’s work or some god’s work or the cosmos random looming’s in the constellations above us past the clouds, sun, and any intellect of man. It’s just here and we’re just here,

and it was just us on that beach watching the gorgeous clashing of the waves

--

Lets take the long way home

Uncharted Reckonings -- The Western Terminals of the World. (SEQUEL TO PALM CANYON DRIVE)

(READ PALM CANYON DRIVE BEFOREHAND)

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THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME! WE’RE FRIENDS, WE’RE BESTFRIENDS, ALL OF US!

You’re having a good time aren’t you man?? It’s pretty nice isn’t it?

Colter, you’re fine right? Not too hot?

NAAAH, this is great AWESOME

You want a menthol? Trust me bro

HAHA NAH NO FUCKIN WAY

--

I was there and I wasn’t people where and they weren’t. Just faces in the crowds, individuals creating masses and there was individuality but mostly just bodies. Floating bodies communicating thru images and sounds, lights and colors, all the real colors of the world surrounding the entirety of the dancing vibrations off of the desert floor. It’s not man made its not god made, the ring of light shown from the edge of earth. Constellations of ignited eyes all bound by the eternal burning stars

The lights became brighter, the music started to sing louder, everything thrown to the stars through the galaxies of our fates, it all became gorgeous just as the sun started seeping into the far reaching horizon and the edge of the earth was seen, at the edge of creation, the edge of life and the edge of all beautiful, real colors, colors out of explanation or comprehension by any man or woman.

Colter, are you sure you’re alright?

Ah yeah fine mhm okay yeah I’m coooool

You want some gum man, some Big Red?

Naah, too hot, any water? It’s hot

Colter, lets get out of the crowd, cman lets go back there to the breeze

My world spun and kept spinning and all the beauty was overwhelming and became heavy, the whole world started falling, I laid down in the dirt, the grass, the salt of the earth at my back and the stars above me gleaming down in amusement.

This happens man, just lie down and relax, take in the music, just chill out. Trust me bro this happens to everyone

Thanks thanks man thank you I’m just gonna lay here

You okay Colter?

This was a mistake, I shouldn’t have done this, I knew I couldn’t take it

What’d he say?

He said he shouldn’t have done it, that it was a mistake

Awh Colter you’ll be fine, just listen to the music, this is your favorite band

I laid back into the salt of the earth and shut my eyes to the stars and there I was back in front of that painting. Different music was around me now and I didn’t want to be home or back in the hotel or back on Palm Canyon Drive, I just wanted to reach the woman that was running in front. 

Everything that an individual ever really truly wants always feels out of reach, not a possession or a currency but a feeling, a good feeling a feeling of purpose and conviction those are the things that are always running fleeting away and won’t turn around and smile. Those are the things that you stare out the window looking at for 30 minutes when you thought it was only 5, when time is nonsense and it’s just wants, hopes, and dreams

The woman turned around quickly and I saw the side of her face and I knew who she was, the universe had shown me her before but only in dreams of a different place and every time I saw her I would then wake up and I would only get a glimpse. Her name came to me one morning or perhaps one night as Veritas, she never told me, I never told me but truth is one of the only things that is always beautiful and I reached out my hand as I thought she was as well, then everything slowed down and the images were beginning to be warped again

COLTER IT’S YOUR SONG!!!

I opened my eyes and the stars were still hanging in the sky and the salt of the earth was still under me but I got up on my feet to feel the sounds. Everything was real and the breeze blowing around all the individuals interweaving in a chaotic beauty, no faces but just dancing bodies filled with delusions of electric eyes and the proliferation of lunacy all setting sail for the utopia

THIS IS SO GREAT JESUS THIS IS SO AWESOME

You’re feeling better?

AH YAH, FEELING LIKE A MILLION HUNDRED FUCKIN DOLLARS

Haha bro you want that menthol now?

Nah I’m still good

I don’t know, it’s almost painful to think about, hard to reflect, and difficult to comprehend but I think there are times, happenings, things, that can’t really truly honestly be put into language, no combination of words, no projection of ideas can really recreate the feeling when an individual is experiencing or inside a blissful place. Perhaps it happens more than the individual even recognizes and time just goes by too quickly, and the sand in the hourglass slowly dwindles away into nothingness and if you’re lucky you may be able to reflect on the dancing images of the euphoria and the truths at a separate time

Places that are unmistakably filled with truth, and virtue, and it doesn’t have to attempt to be like that, it just is and it just does. It isn’t homogenized, but it’s individualistic with the accentuation of eloquence with a climatic elated moment that lasts for eternity within that place of virtue

This is so great, this is so ridiculous

HAHAHA, it is isn’t it

All this shit makes sense, the lights on the Palm trees, the art sculptures, the desert, it all makes sense

What do you mean?

I mean as soon as that sun falls behind that horizon this place becomes unexplainable. During the day I was like oh that’s cool oh alright but now, now it all makes sense, it’s all true, all truth

Oh I know

The drugs, the alcohol, all comes secondary to this, all of this

Bro it’s a real trip isn’t it

Hah it fucking is

There was no reference to sun, man, or God but the truths from the salt of the earth and the warping images and bright lights solemnly hanging in orbit around us, sprouting from the earth. I turned to my friends and yelled to them and everyone else

“THIS IS GOD, THIS IS THE NEW EDEN”.

Everyone else there and not there, here and not here, then and now, it all makes sense, it all makes perfect sense, the stars have aligned to sounds and the images of life in an all overwhelming truth. There wasn’t any hope, no doubt, but perfect nothingness unscathed by any man’s ideologies or convictions but harmony and only harmony

I shut my eyes one more time just to hear and feel and there she was, Veritas. She had dark curly hair and tanned olive skin, she held out her hands and grabbed me tight to her body then whispered words into my ear with an accent that I never had heard, I stepped back and looked at her with dried lips and large pupils filled with amazement.  

The music had stopped, the dancing bodies solemnly swung with the breeze.

Murmuring resonances of a fleeting feeling

It was the electric Eye, the utopia, the new Eden with more Eves and more Adams, it was the painting, Veritas smiling back at me, it was my friends, it was harmony, it was the sun in all its colors, and man made beauty the god made beauty and then the beauty that can’t be explained all marching and elongating before us like strands of the night, tentacles to bind us to the reality yet to come.