PIKE ST

You said she texted you at 2?

Yeah 2 am, I was asleep

Dude she totally wants it

Wants it?

Wants to get back together man! If she is thinking about you that late she wants you back

I don’t think that’s exactly it, I mean when we were together I’d be up that late, cause I had a reason. I was asleep by 2 last night but she was awake, she was awake and I wasn’t, that’s it

I don’t know bro, I don’t think you are reading into it enough

No I am because I know the fucking chick, she is very affirmative with her decisions. If she wanted to get back together then she wouldn’t have ended things in the first place, and if she wanted to see me or some shit then she’d say so. She doesn’t talk in code man

No women do though man, I swear us guys never really know what they’re saying. What’d she hit you up about anyway?

She told me about some event for writers in Seattle next week in the south end somewhere

Okay

And she knows I’m really into my stuff and I’ve been working really hard and that I might meet some people there. She’s apparently going because one of her favorite poets is reading, who talks about nature and shit. I already knew about the stupid event but I didn’t want to go anyway, those things are always the fucking same

Yeah yeah no that makes sense but I’m telling you man she wants to meet up, she wants to see you there

Well she won’t and I just responded with a “oh, can’t make it, thanks though” kind of thing. I didn’t want to do the whole forced “oh how have you been”, that sorta shit and painfully draw out the conversation

As we rounded the corner on Pike and 5^th the rain was misting onto the street and the clouds were weak and the sun was trying to take advantage of that and cut thru them, then the clouds did give way and the sun shot down onto the intersection of pike and 4^th. The streets were covered in water from the rain the night before and the sun bounced off the pavement and hit our eyes.  I squinted, he squinted and even though we celebrate the sun and the light and holiness it still pained our eyes

 Oh no I understand that man there is nothing worse than an awkward forced conversation

Yeah and I’m not going to be the one who brings that up it seems hungry on my part, like, “oh I want to talk to you, oh I miss you”, that kinda shit, not that I do either, just saying

Right. But Dude its way harder for her cause it seems more hungry on her part, she was the one who ended things

No fucking way man it’s humiliating on my part, it’s like I’m literally saying, “I need to get back together with you”, by saying “oh my god how are you”, fuck that man

I dono I think its harder on the dumper than the dumpee if that makes sense

What the fuck was that   ?? No

The light pained my eyes but I kept looking into it to see something else but all I saw was a floating image of the light in a purple and pink shade when I eventually looked away. I pictured scenarios in my head with her and with other girls and the mental scenarios are always perfect, the light is always shining, its never too bright, there are smiles and romantic afternoons and late nights, and they’re always perfect images in theory, but in actuality it never works that way, and its never perfect, its never sunny it’s just bright and you want to look into the brightness but it’s always too much because its bouncing off the of the street, and the street is wet from the rain and reflective and it pains your eyes.

Maybe we are used to the dark because the dark is more accessible. There aren’t as many forms of dark and it never pains our eyes it’s just dark and that’s the way it is

Light is unpredictable and different and we wear glasses for the brightness because it can be harsh and different but it’s always all right in our minds

And as my friend and I walked to the bus we kept squinting painfully but perhaps the face of agony is truth, and its real and honest and it’s the unvarnished truth

I tried to look past the light

But I didn’t look past her message

Things are what they are and things are what they aren’t. We look past things and we look right into things. The sun cuts the clouds into pieces and bounces off of the ground into our eyes and we love the sun but we hate the brightness, we look past things and maybe just maybe we don’t look at things for long enough to completely soak in the message or the object or the exquisite consciousness of the surroundings

Of the ecstatic anatomy

Or the imaginable romance

that seems simple and beautiful in our minds but in actuality and in reality its like a fucking battle field inside some hipster coffee shop that she picked out cause she thinks she’s something else than we are

But no it’s the shift in the wind when you round a corner in the concrete jungle and its feels like you just walked into a frozen hell and a demonic figure is laughing and breathing in and out onto pike street and whatever

And then we are just beings of solitude because in solitude everyone agrees because nobody argues with themselves and then the infinite ecstasy falls from the sky and we call it light but in reality its just brightness and it feels good in our minds, and right in our minds, but on the reflective street it brings pain

and we think this is the new Eden, and we are roaming in Eden with everything and everyone and her and me and the messages are conceived and consumed and everything you read is right and honest, there isn’t anything else left on the shelves because they are empty but the light isn’t because the light is rousing and it’s not consistent like the dark

And we love the light on a Wednesday but she dumps us on a Thursday and we hate it because it feels like the shortest day of the year when the light fades away